Yesterday, I was having a "down" day. Too much downtime at work, gave me too much time in which my mind could wander toward the past. I was missing him ALOT yesterday. I've realized that no matter what, there has still been, and probably always will be, this little tiny spark inside my heart that I carry for him. One of hope. As utterly rediculous at that may seem. I just finished reading a beautiful novel called "The Mercy of Thin Air" which dealt largely with the theme of unrequited love, or rather, love that too soon was lost due to death of one of the lovers. And how these people struggled to move on with their lives, and managed to move foward, form new partnerships, even though they still carried love for their deceased loved ones in their hearts. The second time around was never as glorious, or all consuming or passionate as their first loves were..however, they managed to move into a more comfortable, understated love. I am hoping, to at least find that. But...as my yahoo horoscope says:
A person from your past might be holding you back from enjoying your present -- or rather, the memories of them are keeping you from moving forward. Are you stuck in the past? Yes, it's important to understand how old relationships or old choices can affect you today, but you could run the risk of getting stuck in nostalgia. Progress stagnates when all you do is compare your current life to your past life. Put away the photo albums and decide to walk forward.